dann_0 | PSL: Sentinel AU

Being pushed back hurts but Danny swallows and hides it as best he can so he won't add to the tension in the room. It is bad enough already. He leans back, sighing and then rubbing his forehead. "He said no, Eliot. It's... I try to listen when you guys say that. I know things between Sentinels and Guides are off balance and I don't want that here." With either of them. He doesn't want them to feel powerless. He reaches to steady himself on the desk as he gets up and then leans on it, looking between them. "Is this a conversation that would be better to have when we're rested and relaxed?"

"Then I'll figure it out," he says to Eliot. "It's better it's him and me that's miserable than you and him."

He's thankful Danny has that disposition because if he keeps pushing Steve won't be able to continue to fight him off. Drawing in a shaky breath he runs a hand through his hair. His eyes flick to Eliot, he's not sure this conversation can wait that long.

"I just need some time. Some distance. Until the pull isn't so strong." Danny was able to guide him before without having so much contact, he should be able to go back to that again. Where he won't need Danny's affection so much. Where he has faith he can control himself to take what's available and not push for more. "It was my mistake. I'm trying to fix it." His eyes move back to Eliot. "Please. Let me fix it."

"Jesus fucking christ, are you listening to the words coming outa your mouth?" he demands, still focused on Steve. "You're the man's god damn family. You live t'gether, you work t'gether, you're helpin' him raise his damn kid, and I'm twenty-five hundred damn miles away an' not gonna be around here at all, or even seein' him for more than a few days a month at best." If this even works out, which he's not expecting it to. "What part'a that makes it sound like me gettin' in between you two is gonna be okay?"

Danny looks between them, feeling the annoyance rise at being talked about like this. "Do I have a say in this?" He doesn't bother to hide the irritation. "Here is the deal. I need you both. And like it or not you both need me. Which means you two need each other. You need to stop fighting over who gets to be the martyr and start working together about what we can do to make this work. Because we need this to work, all three of us. Because if you up and leave Eliot, you'll be miserable, I'll be miserable and I know Steve well enough to it will affect him too. If you decide you're doing this on your own Steve then us living and working together is not going to work. Which again... Will affect all of us." He gestures at the three of them.

"We would have distance problem no matter what with Steve, Eliot and you knew that when we got involved. I can't just leave my kid. Steve, you might think that I am going to leave you because you can't bond but bond or not you're part of this. Yeah, Eliot and I dating complicates it, but all in all it doesn't change the basic facts of what we are and what we need."

"You're not getting in between us. I'm his best friend, not his romantic partner." He addresses Eliot first and then he turns to Danny. "I'm not trying to be a martyr. We were too close before. Too close to accommodate you being in a relationship. Which isn't fair to you, Eliot or Grace. I'm trying to back off but dialing things back isn't easy, Danny. Having you right there in front of me and knowing I can't have what I did a week ago..."

His voice catches and he looks back at Eliot. Anger is fueling his energy right now but he really doesn't have the reserves for this. "And that doesn't mean you should back off or try to accommodate. It was my mistake, I'm trying to fix it. That nice little happy scenario in your head is only part of the picture. I'm on borrowed time. At any moment Catherine is going to realize my abilities are back and I'll be returning to active duty - leaving him. Alone." He knows Eliot is aware of how his military service is likely that is going to end, sentinels don't reach retirement. "You both have a chance at long time happiness together. You both are able to bond. How many chances do you think are going to come up with you find a free sentinel or guide that you can trust? There's no way in hell I want to get in the way of what you two have. The distance is a problem now, but it won't be forever."

Leaning back, the anger and the energy he had is fading and it just leaves him more tired and frustrated than he was before. "I know I can't be without you. That I need help to manage, but I was able to manage on less before. I just wanna get back to that."

"Catherine is not going to know. Because if she as much as thinks about returning you to active duty I will stop her. I told you I have your back and I mean that. I am not saying you'll be in the way. I am saying I'd like you to be a part of what we have." There. Now that is in the open. He glances over at Eliot, worried that it will make him jealous. But he turns back to Steve, pointing to him. "You're the one who says you can't have things, not us, Steve. And what do you mean it won't be forever. You've made Hawaii my home."

The irritation softens and instead sounds almost pleading. "I don't want you to just survive and manage. Either one of you. I want you to be happy."

"Do you hear me fuckin' arguing about that?!" Eliot snaps at Danny, because god dammit, he wasn't bitching he was pointing out the fucking obvious to McGarrett, who's got his head so far up his ass Eliot's surprised he can smell anything but shit right now. "You're not movin' to Portland, I'm not movin' here, we pretty much established that. Which means there's not a helluva lot of backing off to do, 'cause I'm not gonna fuckin' be here." Which hurts, yes, but it's a simple god damn fact.

As for the rest... christ. It's okay. It has to be okay because, hell, it's not like it matters what he thinks of it anyway. He's known from day one this can't actually work the way Danny wants it to, he's just here for however long it lasts before the distance gets to be too much hassle. Which is preferable to Danny still being in the picture when he loses it and needs to be put down. So Danny wants to fuck his best friend. Who he lives with. And works with. All that's going to do is speed up how fast things fall apart on his end, it was always going to happen anyway.

"I never planned to even come here in the first damn place, an' I never fuckin' asked him t'back off anything with you!" Jesus... jesus, he needs to back off, back down, get his shit together before he loses it. He can feel his heart rate spiking, feel the world starting to go too sharp around the edges--too bright and loud and present--and he takes another step back and holds a hand up.

"You... you need t'give me five minutes. Talk your shit out an' give me five minutes." His gaze shifts, hyper-focused and intent, to Danny, and then quickly away again before he can lock in on him too hard. "I'm not goin' away, I just need five damn minutes," he repeats, and braces a hand against the wall as he turns for the door.

Danny is about to get up and walk to Eliot. He doesn't even fully understand why there is just something instinctual about being closer and helping him. But he pauses when Eliot braces himself against the wall.

"How about I help Steve to his office and you can stay here?" Since they both had mentioned scent being so important. "I can come back if you need me." He moves towards Steve to offer him a hand up. "A time out is good. For all of us, I think."

Eliot pauses at Danny's suggestion, though he doesn't turn back. Hard as he's trying not to let himself focus on Danny he can't actually tune him out, and his chin drops a little towards his chest. "I don't give a damn how you wanna arrange it or who you want where," he rasps. "I just need some damn time. So if you two wanna go... fine." And much as he shouldn't let himself lean on it it'll be easier to get his head together in here, surrounded by Danny's scent. Easier to tamp down the irrational rage that's starting to bubble up at the whole situation.

At the suggestion of a time out, Steve nods. He's listened to what Danny and Eliot have said and he realizes that a lot of what's going on is beyond his involvement. "End of the day, I am not in your relationship. You two need to talk about and decide what you want and what you are comfortable with. Danny is my best friend and that's not changing. I need his help to avoid zones and be pulled out if need be and to stretch my senses. Neither of those things requires anything more than normally friendly contact. The rest I will figure out."

Nodding in agreement to give Eliot Danny's office, he pushes himself to his feet then he waits a moment to make sure he's stable. He places the glass on Danny's desk and then moves to the door. The intention is just to go right through, but he needs to say something before he leaves and pauses at the threshold.

He keeps his voice casual. "Eliot, if you're not ready or willing to make the commitment, that's on you. Not me. You can see that once Danny makes a commitment, it's fully and completely and he's already made it you. You can let that slip through your fingers or you can hang on with both hands. Hanging on with one like you're trying to do isn't going to work any more than what I was doing." Steve then turns slightly to look at Danny, he needs Danny to hear him and it's likely good for Eliot to hear as well. "My situation doesn't change whether Eliot's here or not. I over-committed and that was a mistake on my part. One I'm fixing regardless. If Eliot and you don't work out, you need to be open to finding another relationship. It wasn't fair of me to take more when I know I wont be here long term. I am sorry, Danny, I really am."

With that he turns and continues out the door and heads towards his office. He's not expecting Danny to follow him.

PSL: Sentinel AU

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