dann_0 | PSL: Sentinel AU

"I don't care if you're not a good man by whatever definition you go by. You're the man I am in love with. You're good for me. You're not 'just' anything. You're so much more. I love you." But the way Eliot is avoiding him hits him like punches. "But I can't be the only one fighting for this. I ... You're both pushing me away and I don't know what the fuck to do. I am sorry I am fucked up. I am sorry I can't just pick one. But I can't. If I do, I... " It would break his heart and he'd never feel whole again. "I need you. I need him."

Eliot visibly flinches, like Danny's words are body blows, and when he folds his arms over his chest it's unmistakably defensive. "The only one fightin' for this? Darlin', you need t'be thanking whatever god you believe in that you are the only one fightin' for this. 'Cause you've seen what it looks like when I fight for you, an' you don't want your boy back there added to the body count."

His hands flex into white knuckled fists and he looks away, his stern mask crumbling, but only far enough to melt into a scowl. "He can't do this on his own," he points out quietly. "You live with him, you work with him, you love him, he's your damn family. An' he can't do this without you." That much is clear. Steve has no idea how to cope without a Guide, where Eliot's survived almost half a lifetime on his own. He knows he won't make it much longer, but that's beside the point and it's not something he'll lay on Danny. Not now.

He presses a hand to the ache in his chest, the coiling heat of a bond so close to forming like a physical pressure behind his breastbone. But he makes himself take another half-step back, because the alternative is to step closer, and he's only got so much self-control. "You need t'let me walk away while I still can, sweetheart. 'Cause I ain't seeing any way to make this work when you've got everything you need an' want right here an' I'll never be closer than a ten hour flight away."

Danny licks his lips and nods. He knows Steve needs him. And he knows Eliot does too. But Eliot is right. Steve has no idea how to handle being on his own and unlike Eliot he is still on the military's radar. But that doesn't mean that Danny wants to let go of Eliot. "I am trying to make it work. I want it to work. I..." Eliot's words tears at his last defenses. "He says the same thing. That he doesn't think it can work because you can give me everything he can't." He sighs.

"I love you. I want you. Life here without you will never have everything I want and need. You're both asking me to pick the other and I don't want to pick. I need you both. Please. Please, Eliot can we talk about it? Go home all three of us and talk about what's going on." He takes a step back too. "Unless you don't want this to work?"

Eliot lifts one hand to scrub across his face and huffs a tired, bitter laugh. "Not want it t'work?" He shakes his head and doesn't look back up at Danny. "I wasn't pullin' your leg when I said there's never been anything I wanted more." He looks up then, his expression strained and pinched, tense enough that it doesn't take someone with a Guide's or Sentinel's sensitivities to see how tightly wound and barely controlled he is. "Except for you t'be safe, an' happy, an' for this t'not blow up in your damn face." It's as close as he can let himself get to telling Danny that he loves him too. Loves him enough that it's more important to him that Danny be safe, and happy, than it is that he be with him.

"We're possessive, sweetheart. Possessive an' over-protective as hell, an' if I get any further into this I'm not gonna be able t'back off. I'm not gonna be able t'walk away an' wish you the best."

Danny swallows. He doesn't really have an answer to the possessiveness after what he just saw. He licks his lips. "I... There was a moment in there where you both seemed happy." But maybe that had just been him projecting. Had it? Damn, he wasn't sure.

"Losing you means it already has blown up." He sighs. "You think you're too possessive to ever being able to share with him and be happy? I want to try to make you both happy, but if all it will result in is you both being hurt... That's why I want to talk to you both at the same time. We need to be on the same page."

"He was zoned, sweetheart," Eliot points out quietly. "An' when he started t'come out of it and realized he wasn't alone with you-" Well, Eliot doesn't think he really needs to say more than that, the reaction had been pretty clear.

"As for the rest-" He shakes his head and looks away again, and he just looks tired, now. Tired and sad. "I don't like the idea of anyone else touching you like that, but... but I knew goin' into this I didn't get that choice." He's not the one who'd even asked Danny to keep his clothes on with Steve, he hadn't been willing to take the risk of pushing, of making himself more trouble than the one thing he could give Danny that he wasn't getting from Steve was worth. If he doesn't have even that edge he can't see how he has enough to offer to make the distance and separation worth it.

"I don't know what t'tell you, darlin'. I don't know if I can do that, an' I think the odds are slim t'none that he can."

"He was confused. He doesn't trust you yet. But he can if you give him time. But he is not here. We're making a lot of assumptions on what he feels or thinks or is willing to do." He pauses and looks at Eliot. "You have the right to ask for it. You have just as much rights here as anyone else. I just don't know if I can give that to you, the same way I don't know if I can give it to him."

"Can we just please not do anything rushed? Come back inside, talk to him, talk about this. At the very least come get your things and say a proper good bye?"

"What he wants t'do is push you out of his life an' go it alone," Eliot points out quietly, his voice almost painfully steady and even. "He made that pretty damn clear. An' it's just as clear that neither of you can function that way." Eliot scrubs a hand through his hair and then tucks them both into his pockets when he realizes he's having trouble controlling the shaking. "I can't get in the middle'a that, sweetheart. I can't get even deeper into this an' then have to walk away, 'cause he can't share you an' you can't give him up."

Edited 2017-06-13 18:28 (UTC)

Danny looks down. "I know. And... And I won't ask you to. If either of you can't share we'll call this off. But he is pulling back because he thinks you want him to. Because he thinks you can't share. I... " Danny's voice breaks a little and he turns. Trying to hide the pain as best he can. "Please, please Eliot I am begging you. Don't leave."

"Christ," Eliot mutters under his breath, because even if Danny didn't suck at hiding his pain it wouldn't really matter, not with how hyper-focused Eliot's senses are on him at all times. There's no way he can miss it in his voice or posture or expression or scent, no way he can fail to notice how his misery is building and compounding.

"C'mere, sweetheart," he rasps, and reaches out to hook a shaking hand into the front of Danny's shirt and pull him close enough to wrap his arms around him. "I don't see how what you're askin' for can work," he murmurs into Danny's hair, and knows he shouldn't have let himself touch because there's no way he'll be able to make himself let go and walk away again right now. "Just remember that no matter what happens you're not gonna end up alone, okay?" Because he knows Steve won't be able to walk away from him without Eliot in the picture, and once Danny's over the initial grief and hurt of this whole shit show he's sure that'll be enough.

Danny sighs into the hug, just pure and utter contentment. He leans up enough to press a kiss to Eliot's neck. Just a soft quick one. "I am asking for a lot. I know that. I know I am being greedy. I just... I can't explain it." He sighs. "I guess I suck at this being a guide thing."

Then he moves just enough that he can meet Eliot's eyes. "You'll stay? At least for a bit?" He is trying to give Eliot the biggest puppy eyes he can manage.

Eliot shudders at the soft press of lips, and his fingers curl just a little tighter in the back of Danny's shirt. He's not entirely sure he's going to survive losing this, but he figures it'll be okay so long as he knows Danny's taken care of.

"For a bit," he concedes reluctantly, but there's no way he could say no at this point. "You gotta go take care'a your Sentinel now, though." And walking back in there with him might be enough to bow this all to hell badly enough that even Danny will have to admit it can't work.

"One of my Sentinels... Though that doesn't exactly sound good, does it?" He takes Eliot's hand with a smile and leads him back to the palace. Once they get to the five o offices he smiles back at Eliot.

"Hey, Steve. Eliot came back, you alright with him being here?" He figures he should give his partner a heads up as he heads towards his office. Hopefully, he can get them both to agree to head back to Steve's place. Somewhere more relaxed and then they can talk. At this point that is all he is hoping for.

Steve hasn't left Danny's office. Actually he hasn't even left Danny's couch, or moved from the position he was in when Danny last saw him. Instead he'd been sitting there trying not to think about the mess things had turned into while trying to get his senses back into something he could work with and get the pounding behind his eyes to calm down, even just a little bit. He wasn't succeeding on the pounding, or the nausea, but he could see and hear more clearly, so that was a start.

And, he could actually hear and understand the words that Danny yelled out to him. Truth be told, he hadn't expected them to return. He figured either Eliot had made it far enough out that Danny had to chase him off the property, or they'd had a blow out and Danny continued leaving as he was before Eliot had dragged him back. The possibility he had hoped for, that Danny was able to convince Eliot not to go, hadn't included them returning. He's not so certain he's happy that they have, after all, it's likely going to lead to more arguing and he really isn't up for that.

Clearing his throat, he raises his voice to call out, "Good!" He figured Danny asked the question for Eliot's benefit so he adds as much positivity he can to his voice. "You know that I am!" Turning his head he waits for them to both appear in Danny's doorway. "Welcome back. Danny, you still keep a bottle of Advil in your desk?"

Edited 2017-06-14 05:06 (UTC)

"It sounds like wishful thinking," he points out, but it's mild, no bite to it. He doesn't like the idea of bursting Danny's bubble, but it really doesn't seem like a realistic expectation. Not when he has Steve right here, clearly wanting everything Eliot has with him and a hell of a lot more capable of delivering on it. But he lets Danny twine their fingers together and tow him along, telling himself it's okay to enjoy whatever he can get for however long he can get it.

"How 'bout you go help him an' I'll dig up the Advil if you tell me where to find it," he suggests, giving Danny's hand a quick squeeze then dropping it.

Danny nods. "Middle drawer, near the back. There is water out in the main office too." He gives Eliot a warm smile, feeling thankful that the other Sentinel is willing to help. He moves over and settles next to Steve, reaching out and giving him a proper look over. "A headache? What set that off?" He looks Steve over for any injuries, more out of habit than anything else since his partner seems to get shot at all the time. "I was thinking we could all go back to the house, relax a little and just talk about this. You down for that? Or maybe after you've slept for a bit?"

Steve offers a smile to Eliot. "Thank you." He means for coming back more than for getting the medicine.

"Three year old at the restaurant this morning. Who knew kids could screech that loud?!" Steve hadn't known. That wasn't something Gracie did even when she was upset or over-tired. Granted she was also older. "She wasn't breathing so I focused in on her..." He expects Danny can figure out the rest. The child's screaming wasn't solely why he's in the state he's in now and he expects Danny knows that to. Not sleeping the last several nights and besides a couple of hours on Thursday, he'd been without physical contact from his guide for almost a week. Plus the stress of the Charlie situation which Danny didn't know about yet. It all adds up and was more than what he was used to dealing with on his own, even if he was determined to adjust. "Wasn't doing too bad until we got back here. Something set me off as soon as I walked into your office. A scent..." He looks around and then sniffs but his sense are still off and nothing is glaringly obvious.

Thinking about Danny's proposal for a moment he then nods. "Yeah we can do that." Sleeping sounds like a good idea, but then he thinks about Grace and her wanting to see him for dinner. Sleep will have to wait for now. "Think Kono will keep Grace for a couple of hours? At least until we've had a chance to talk." He's aware of Eliot's concerns around meeting the little girl.

Eliot nods acknowledgment of the thanks but doesn't answer as he pulls the drawer open and retrieves the bottle. He gets the lid open so Steve won't have to possibly struggle with it when he's not firing on all cylinders and passes it over, then disappears back out of the office in search of water. He doesn't need to stay there to hear what Steve's saying, after all. It also means he's not there for either man to see the way he grimaces when Steve mentions not knowing what scent set him off.

He pads back in and offers Steve the glass of water, then backs away a few steps as he finishes talking about one of their coworkers keeping Grace for a while so they can talk. "Pretty sure I know what set you off," he offers when Steve's done, because he might as well just get that over with. It might be proves to Danny that this isn't going to work.

"I am pretty sure I overheard some talk of a girl's day so I think she should be good. I'll make it up to her." He smiles and gently urges Steve to take the pills Eliot provides. "There you go. It'll be better soon and yes they have some pretty impressive lungs when they are throwing a tantrum. Often it is just to get what they want."

Danny looks up at Eliot when he mentions his suspicion, raising an eyebrow. But he doesn't move, instead, he just strokes Steve's back gently. "Yeah? Is there something wrong in the office?"

"Tell her she can come in late Monday. She'll enjoy having the extra time to surf." Steve figures he's as much on the hook, if not more, for Kono's time after all.

Accepting the pills and the water from Eliot with a nod of thanks, Steve takes two pills and downs them with the water, drinking it all. Another nod at Danny's reassurance, and then he shrugs. "I didn't see if she got what she wanted after."

Taking a deep breath in, he tries not to shiver at the sensation of Danny rubbing his back. Instead he tries to focus on Eliot. He has a suspicion of what that something might be but not exactly as Danny's clothing shouldn't have triggered him like that, even that deeply mixed with Eliot's scent. Instead of questioning vocally though he just raises a curious eyebrow.

Yeah, these two are functionally coparents, and Eliot's not sure how Danny thinks whatever connection they've made is supposed to stand up to that. Not when he's made it abundantly clear he wants Steve in every way. But he promised he'd talk it out, and part of that includes clueing them both in to what set Steve off.

He tucks his hands on his pockets to keep them still and tops his gaze up to the ceiling as he answers. "I I brought a couple things in ziplocks. For the scent. And I didn't think to close the bag up again this morning. It was a shirt we, uh... that we cleaned up with. After." He figures he doesn't have to be more specific than that, they should both be able to figure out what it smelled of.

Danny blinks in surprise at that. That was not what he had expected. He opens his mouth to say something and then closes it. He shouldb't be surprised at that. He knows the scent helps them and Eliot had told him how much he likes Danny smelling of sex. He nods a few times and then gives Eliot a small smile. "I guess it could be worse." At least it wasn't dirty socks or something.

Then he licks his lips and looks over at Steve. "You think that was it?"

Ah yes. He could kick himself, he should have been able to figure that out. Thinking back, he touches on the memory of the scent he'd been so intently focused on. A touch of Eliot, a touch of Danny and sex, all mixed together. Steve nods. "Yeah, that was most likely it." Then he looks at Eliot. "You've put it away just after I zoned? I faded quickly and I'm a bit messed up now but I don't smell it. It was strong when I came in."

"I've smelt sex on Danny before, but having it sit like that, mixed with yours..." He offers Eliot a small smile. "Just enough to alter things for it to be both familiar and foreign." Clearing his throat he shrugs hoping that what he's about to say will release the tension he can see and feel in Eliot. "I sleep with Danny's dirty laundry when he's away. I get it."

"Yeah. I zipped it up an' shoved it back in my duffel 'fore I called Danny." He doesn't mention the time he'd spent trying to help Steve focus, the feel of his breathing and heart rate syncing up with his. It's not really relevant.

"Not surprised," he admits, one corner of his mouth twitching up in something that's not quite a smile. "Scent's not really my focus, but it's still powerful." Still the thing that most identifies a person or place as safe, or home, to him. And the only thing he can hold on to when he's alone.

Danny's eyes go wide. "When did you ... Oh Rachel... yeah..." He sighs "You do what with my laundry? What the ... " That is a bit much even for him. "Steve that's... " He glances back at Eliot. "Why didn't either of you tell me about that?"

He takes a deep breath and then licks his lips. He runs a hand over his face and shakes his head. "Does it help?"

Re: Steve Call to Eliot

Re: Steve Call to Eliot

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Steve Call to Eliot

Re: Steve Call to Eliot

Re: Steve Call to Eliot

Re: Steve Call to Eliot

Steve Call to Eliot

Re: Steve Call to Eliot

Re: Steve Call to Eliot

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Steve Call to Eliot

Re: Steve Call to Eliot

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Steve Call to Eliot

Re: Steve Call to Eliot

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Steve Call to Eliot

Re: Steve Call to Eliot

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Steve Call to Eliot

Re: Steve Call to Eliot

Re: Steve Call to Eliot