dann_0 | PSL: Sentinel AU

"Might have a bit of experience," Eliot concedes. "Sit tight an' we'll sort this out when I get there."

***********

In the time it takes him to pack a bag and get to the airport Hardison's already started pulling up information on Rachel and her husband that might be useful in bringing pressure to bear if it becomes necessary. Hopefully it won't, given that could be a hell of a strain on familial harmony, but Eliot's not about to risk things going south. If Rachel isn't willing to roll over, admit she lied, and let Danny have access to his son because it's the right damn thing to do, well, they'll just have to make sure that she has plenty of incentive to see the error of her ways.

By the time his plane lands in Hawai'i he has an email waiting from Hardison with preliminary information on some of Stan's more sensitive business dealings, and a cover arranged to get him access to the house so he can collect DNA. It's not guaranteed smooth sailing, but he's feeling pretty confident about working things out when he spots Steve in the terminal and makes a beeline for him.

"Hey man."

In order to keep Danny from getting suspicious, after speaking with Eliot Steve got what he needed and returned home, pretending all was normal. Once Grace went to bed it became more difficult keeping that something was up from Danny. By ten Steve was more than ready to make his exit.

When Eliot arrives off the plane, Steve is there waiting. He smiles and nods when he sees the other man approach. "Eliot. Thanks for coming. How was the flight?"

The marks on Eliot's neck are plain to see and after seeing similar on Danny, there's no doubt in his mind what they are. When his eyes land on one, he's quick to move them off when he realizes. Similar as to what he did to Danny, he averts by looking for the baggage pickup. "Did you check anything?"

"Not a problem, man." Eliot's a little tense at the meeting, a little wary of how Steve's going to deal with him, but the guy called him for help and he's here for Danny, so he'll make it work. He would have noticed the way Steve's gaze flicked to the hickeys on his neck and then pointedly away even if he hadn't been on high alert, and while it's not surprising it does make him hesitate for a moment before offering his hand to shake.

"Nah, I travel light." Which amounts to a duffel and a garment bag, both thrown over his shoulder. "My friend thinks he's a damn comedian, an' he's got me booked into one of the tourist resorts. We can start talkin' business on the drive over." Which is one of the reasons he hadn't waved off the offer of being picked up in favor of a rental car, though he'll have one for tomorrow.

Realizing that Eliot is also nervous is what helps Steve to relax. Danny mentioned Eliot's had his own concerns and Steve can relate to the reasons behind them. It's enough that for the time being he can focus on what's at hand. Well, that is if he can keep his mind off the damn hickeys.

Accepting Eliot's hand in a solid hand shake, Steve smiles. "Let me guess, that's the same friend who introduced himself at the pub? Tell me he didn't prebook you time to swim with the dolphins while you're here?" Steve teases as he turns to lead them out the door. With the late hour he left the Camaro in the emergency services parking out the front so they're not going far. As they approach he uses the fob to open the trunk for Eliot's luggage. "I would have recommended one of the resorts as well mind you. Unfortunately Hawaii is very hit and miss when it comes to non-tourist lodgings."

Eliot's had his senses dialed back as far as they'll go since the airport in Portland, self defense against the stale, recycled air saturated with sour sweat and too many clashing perfumes and deodorants and the stink of anxiety off of stressed travelers, too many voices and just too much. But this close even that's not enough to keep him from catching the way Danny's scent clings to Steve, and it's only a quarter century of hard-earned self control that keeps any reaction from his face as he shakes Steve's hand. His return smile is a little strained, though, and he doesn't look away in time to hide the way his nostrils flare and his pupils dilate as he feels a sharp stab of something caught between jealousy and longing.

"Same friend," he agrees, voice suddenly a little hoarse as he follows Steve out of the terminal. "An' a god damn luau too," he adds, hoping to at least partially cover for his reaction to Danny's scent with generalized grouching about Hardison trying to plan his life.

Seeing the reaction, Steve nods as he lets go of the other man's hand and looks away himself, not taking the reaction personally but offering a bit of privacy for Eliot to regain his composure. It's not like this is a situation either had ever expected to be in. The only way he can think to handle it and make it any better is to try to be as welcoming and reassuring towards Eliot as possible. It's not easy though when his own instincts are screaming warning signals to what they perceive is a threat. It was for that reason that Steve was also keeping his sense of smell as low as possible. He may have also rubbed a small amount of Vicks under his nostrils before leaving the house to help block the scent coming off of Eliot. Sooner or later he was going to have to adapt, but he figured if he could reduce the overwhelming stimuli for even a little bit it might help ease him into it.

Steve laughs. "The luaus here are pretty legendary though. If you've not been to one before they're definitely worth being checked out." After Eliot has his bags tucked away into the trunk, Steve ducks into the driver's seat waiting for the other man to join him before heading to the resort Eliot's booked into. "So, you said on the phone you had some experience with this kind of thing...?"

Eliot's not entirely sure if the car's better or worse. It's permeated with both Danny and Steve's scent, overlaying each other with a depth and complexity that makes very clear how much time they spend together here. It's also laced with anxiety and fear that's fresh enough it sets his teeth on edge, makes him want to find Danny right the hell now to try and fix whatever caused the worry. Except he's pretty sure he knows exactly what it was, and there's not a damn thing he can do to make it better.

"Not sure I'm really the luau type," he counters, and doesn't share that Hardison had very pointedly made sure he knew the reservation for the luau--and the damn dolphins--was for two, and that he could make it for three in a heartbeat if Danny wanted to bring his little girl along. That's really not the kind of thing he sees panning out, especially not under the circumstances.

"Yeah, my partners an' I have some experience... helping folks see the error of their ways." Or at least pay the price for them, whether they see the light or not. "Usually it's something a bit more far reachin' than this, but basically we just need to get the evidence lined up so the ex knows she can't wiggle out with more lies. Hopefully that'll be enough, but if it's not, well, Hardison's already got some information that'll help her see the light."

Eyes flicking over to Eliot, before returning to the road, Steve shrugs. "Everyone is the Luau type, there's some part of it for everyone. You... My guess is you'd take extra interest in the food portion. If you've not had Hawaiian Kalua pig before you're in for a treat." There's other aspects that he thinks Eliot would enjoy as well, given the chance. It's on the tip of his tongue to suggest taking Danny with him but there's a difference between being supportive and too supportive and Steve's pretty sure that's going beyond what he really needs to be doing.

Running what Eliot has told him over a couple times in his head, Steve frowns for a moment and bites the inside of his lip, and then runs it through his head one more time. Each time he comes out with the same result - Eliot's a restaurant owner by day and a professional extortionist and blackmailer on the side. Lifting an amused eyebrow, he turns to Eliot when he stops at the next light. "So you dig up something incriminating on the person and threaten them with it unless they cooperate?"

There's no judgment in Steve's voice. At the moment he's more amused than anything else, partially because he does similar things in the line of duty regularly when he needs one criminal to turn on another. Perhaps not exactly the same but close enough. But mostly because Danny, who is a damn good cop and a stickler for the law, is dating a man who skirts the law. It's possible that it's completely on the legal side, but considering one of his partners is a hacker, he's sure it dips over the line from time to time. That's not Steve's problem though, he's got no evidence that any crime has been committed so he's not going to let it bother him, especially if it ends up helping Danny with Rachel. "Does Danny know about this?"

Eliot's taking a risk with this and he knows it, and he's not just risking himself, he's risking Parker and Hardison too. He hasn't even told Danny what they do yet, not wanting to risk exposing the team when he still more than half expects Danny to decide that this is too difficult and inconvenient to follow through on, no matter how much his gut screams to trust the man. But Steve had told him the situation and he hadn't even stopped to think, just set the ball in motion, because even with as little time as he's spent with Danny he knows exactly how important his daughter is to him, and how having this, his own damn son, taken away from him will gut him. Eliot will do whatever he can, whatever he has to, to help make sure he gets to be a real father to his child.

"It's a little more involved than that as a rule, but at the heart of it, that isn't exactly wrong," he admits. "We like t'think of it as providing the little guy with some leverage against the kinda rich, powerful assholes who think they can walk all over anyone who gets in their way." Which, yeah, frequently involves breaking the law, though never in ways that can be pinned to them... which probably won't matter to a pair of cops.

"An' no, it didn't come up. We didn't exactly spend a lot of time together, though." And entirely aside from Eliot's trust issues, there'd been a fair amount of that time spent pretty much non-verbal. Or at least not using a lot of words longer or more complicated than yes and more and harder and please... which is not something he needs to be thinking about right now.

His amusement fades as Eliot clarifies what they do. "You even the playing field so the rich don't win just because they have money. Is that what you're saying?" In principle, he actually has no issue with that. Steve's not a cop. He doesn't look at the world through the eyes of the law, but instead through the morals he's been instilled with. That those with power and money think they can get away with anything they want pisses him off. It's why he enjoys his job. That's mostly who Five-O goes after and for similar reason.

Frowning at being told they barely spent that much time together, as he'd been under the impression they spent most of the last three and a half days together, he thinks about that for a moment. Not a long time in the grand scheme of things, he supposes but he would have thought enough to get into careers. Than again, he can understand why Eliot may have wanted to wait. In any case his amusement returns. "Unless you're hurting people, exploiting them or taking advantage," none of which he's getting the impression is the case, "I'm happy to provide you back up there when you do. I've softened Danny up a bit over the last couple of years, but I expect he'll fall into a rant and turn a bit red when he finds out." While his words may paint the picture of that being a bad thing, Steve's tone and amusement indicate thays it's not as bad as it sounds.

"Close enough. Someone's generally gotta fuck up pretty excessively t'get on our radar, but once they do, well... we handle it." For Eliot three and a half days had felt like no time at all. Barely enough to scratch the surface of what they are to each other and how to make this work... not really enough to make him feel confident that it will work, not when Danny's already so clearly devoted to Steve, and when Steve is so clearly uncomfortable with their relationship, no matter how well he's handling things right now.

"Yeah, well, I guess I'll be findin' out what he thinks sooner rather'n later," Eliot answers. And hopes he doesn't end up regretting... any of this. "An' thanks. I know this, that it ain't easy on you. So thanks."

It's difficult as part of him clearly sees Eliot as a rival, one that has the advantage and he shouldn't be helping the other man. Intellectually he knows that's not necessarily the case. If he helps Eliot, in a roundabout way he's helping himself as well. More to the point, he's helping Danny.

"Probably better that way to be honest. Just... Focus on the helping people aspect more than anything else. Five-O has immunity here on the islands, we're known to... Push the boundaries somewhat, but we get the desired results and Danny's seen that following the book doesn't always work. Those with power and money don't always play the rules, to get them sometimes you can't either." His eyes flick to Eliot's and he bites on his lower lip a moment before shaking his head. He hadn't planned on breaching this topic with Eliot, but since the other man has. "It's not, but I expect it's not on you either. This is about as far from an ideal situation as we can possibly make work, but Danny is determined to try."

He's more than a little surprised at Steve's friendly advice; he hadn't expected the guy to try and use the information he's giving him to fuck him over, not really, but he definitely hadn't expected him to be anything but distantly professional and concerned with his partner. It's not enough to completely take the edge off Eliot's worry, but it's something.

"Yeah." He tips his head back against the seat, letting the situation settle into place in his mind. "I ain't tryin' to take him from you," he finally says, low and steady and not actually looking at Steve as he talks. "His life's here, or wherever his little girl goes, an'... I can travel a lot, but I got people who need me that I can't just up an' leave." Not that there isn't the potential for relocation there, much as they all like the life they've built for themselves in Portland, but it's not something Eliot's even considering as a possibility. "An' for the record, I wasn't planning on tryin' to hide what I do from him, just didn't seem t'be much point getting into it this early in the game." Not when he can't really make himself believe this could work out.

There's a small shake to Steve's head. "I didn't think you were." Eliot doesn't have to try, the way the cards have been dealt, Steve's got a shit hand and Eliot's got all the aces. Really Eliot just needs to bide his time and there's a good chance fate will do all the work for him. "But, if I thought so," Steve grins at the other man, "you know I'd have to kill you. You understand I'm sure." He's joking, mostly. But if Eliot forced Danny to bond or hurt him in any way... Steve doesn't expect either of those to happen purposely or he would be intervening.

"Danny will go wherever Grace is, and Charlie too once we sort that out." Danny's dedication to his kids was one of the things Steve admired most about his partner. He wasn't the perfect father, he messed up just like everyone else, but he put Grace first before every aspect of his life and did the very best that he could to make her life better. Steve would support that any way he could. "I assume you know about the court petition as well...?" His knuckles whiten on the wheel because Danny having to move to Vegas would make things much easier for Danny and Eliot. If Eliot had the ability to influence the court's decisions, there wasn't a damn thing Steve could do about it.

"I'm not judging, or trying to intervene in your relationship." Steve shrugged. "You gotta do things when they make sense for you. Honestly, I'm surprised you came." Chuckling lightly he shrugged. "I called because I thought you may have some ideas on how to get something out there when you shouldn't know that it exists. Being hidden and independent for so long. Also, I needed to talk it through with someone who completely understood my situation and had Danny's best interests at heart. That's an incredibly short list." Eliot was the only one on it.

"Yeah." Eliot huffs a laugh in response to the teasing threat, but there's not much humor in it. "I know exactly what you mean." And he knows that Steve's joking probably exactly as much as he is... which is mostly, but not entirely. The difference is, Steve has years of history and loyalty with Danny, as well as constant access to him and all the time in the world to continue solidifying the bond, however informal, they already share. Eliot's just a stranger he met a couple thousand miles away, and there's no telling how long it's going to be before the inconvenience of trying to conduct any kind of relationship at that distance gets to be more hassle than it's worth to a man with a life and a career, kids he has to fit into his already tight schedule... Eliot's not expecting to be in the picture for long, no matter how strongly Danny feels about it.

"Yeah, I saw that. Doesn't seem like he's too thrilled with the idea, though." And whether it might make things easier for him or not... well, Eliot's never been good at prioritizing his own happiness at someone else's expense. Especially not someone he cares about, and however briefly he's known him he cares about Danny.

"Easier t'handle this kinda thing in person, too many variables t'deal with long distance." And it's too important to not give his full attention. "I'm not sure if we'll really need any excuse other'n Danny not believing her about the kid not bein' his, though, once we've got the proof." It's not like he doesn't have cause, given their history, seems like Danny's just too damn trusting and good-natured to not take her word for it.

"An' yeah... I know what you mean." It's been over fifteen years since anyone knew what he is, and it's still an uncomfortable weight on his shoulders, having it out there.

"Danny's fighting it. Prevented them from moving already, but it's pretty much up to a judge to decide now." Of course Steve didn't want to lose Danny and he was doing what he could to help him. He hadn't told Danny yet, but he was planning to show up at the hearing, dressed in his blues, to act as a character witness. All that being said, if Danny lost, Steve was also prepared to make sure he got a good transfer and position in Vegas.

"You haven't met Rachel. If she can she'll be indignant and try to make Danny feel bad for doubting her word, or play the victim to make him feel for her and back off. Especially if she thinks it will cloud the issue or deflect from what she's done or the truth." Pausing a moment, Steve bites on his lip debating if he should say more. In the end he figures the more information Eliot has, the better. "There's still feelings there. On both sides. Rachel married up and she likes to make Danny's life a living hell, but I think a good part of that is so he'll pay attention to her. As for Danny... He gives into her and accommodates as much as possible. Part of it is because Rachel holds his access to Grace over his head, but he did take her back once already. Them separating was not his idea - either time."

"You ever get used to it? Being on your own I mean... Did it get easier over time?" It's what Steve's looking at now and he'll take any advice Eliot can impart on him from his experience.

He's been trying to keep a fairly neutral attitude towards the ex, just on principle, but Steve's explanation is clearly his honest assessment, and Eliot's pretty sure there's only a fairly minimum amount of personal bias to it. The idea that Danny might want her back... well, Eliot's going to set that aside and not think about it, because it's not relevant to any of this.

"We'll just hafta make sure he has absolute proof before he faces her, even if it ain't proof he can show her." Because for all that Danny might trust either or both of their senses, the evidence of a DNA test will be incontrovertible. "It'll be enough to keep him from letting her push him into backin' off." Because there's no way he can see the man just dropping the issue once he knows that kid is his. "An' I got my buddy doin' a little digging around in her husband's background an' financials, pretty sure from what he's found so far, there'll be something we can use as leverage t'get her to back off." Hell, even telling the husband might be enough to seal the deal, if she's been lying about the boy's parentage to keep him from finding out and dumping her. Eliot won't feel even the slightest bit guilty if this ends up imploding her marriage, other than if it adversely effects Danny's kids. They have time to work that part out, though, and it'll mostly be Danny's decision anyway, once they have the proof for him about Charlie's paternity, so Eliot sets that aside for the moment to focus on McGarrett's last question as they pull into the--huge, garish, christ--resort Hardison booked him into.

"Used to it?" He shakes his head and catches his upper lip between his teeth for a moment. "I dunno, man. I mean, I came online when I was probably... twelve or thirteen." Maybe a little younger, it's hard to remember when it all mostly blurs together. "I just didn't know that was what it was, an' no one really paid enough attention t'figure it out. So I'd already been handling it on my own for years before I enlisted an' the military pegged me." And fast-tracked him into black ops. He rubs a hand over the back of his neck and grimaces, thinking back on it.

"Havin' Guides around was... christ, it made the whole damn world finally make some sense, y'know? No matter how fuckin' awful the rest of it was, that... it was a damn revelation." Quieted things down, made it easier to focus and concentrate. Made him feel like there was more to him than the rage and the violence. "An'... after." After getting blown and burned and left to rot, after losing everyone and everything that mattered and managing to drag himself out of hell under his own power despite it. "Well, they figured I was burned out for good an' cut me loose. I figured they were probably right, an' when it turned out they weren't, near on a year later, I, uh, I went pretty much feral. But the crowd I was runnin' with then, no one thought anything of it."

And he'd known enough, even then, to manage to keep himself off the radar. Managed to find anchors to pull him back from zones, managed, eventually, to get himself back under control. "The first year was a fuckin' nightmare." But it was still better than going back. "But yeah, after that... it's never been easy, but it got easier. For a while. You gotta find your own anchors, things you can use to pull yourself back, an' when you can't... you gotta have enough control to at least get the hell away from anyone else before you lose it."

He'd come out of a zone so dehydrated he could barely function more than once in those first few years, but at least he'd always managed to get someplace safe before he got locked too far into his own head. "Routines help. Discipline." He shrugs. "It's been almost fifteen years now." And he knows he's slipping. Has been for a while now. Knows it's just a matter of time before he isn't safe anymore, because his biggest challenge has never been the zoning, it's always been the rage and the blood lust.

'Have your friend cross reference 'Wo Fat', 'Hiro Noshimuri', or 'Pat Jameson' with Stan. Should any of the those names come up you'll be able to find corruption and dirty dealings there." It wouldn't surprise Steve to find out that Stan was involved with at least one of them. He knew Stan was a good man but he had tried to blackmail a dirty commissioner not all that long ago that resulted in Grace and Rachel getting car-jacked and their house ransacked in the process. Danny had cleaned that mess up for him, but Steve was sure there was more.

Parking the car in a spot by the door, Steve turns in his seat to look at Eliot. At first Steve shakes his head in the negative. "Not really. I came online at the Army Navy Academy when I was fifteen. Zoned out in the middle of a football game. One minute I was out on the field and the next waking up in the infirmary being introduced to my supposedly new best friend." He'd been feeling off for the couple of weeks prior but hadn't said anything because he didn't want to be removed from the football team. It had been the only time he felt like himself... Until that had happened. "After that, the only time I was without a guide was when they got themselves killed on a mission," usually trying to control Steve which never seemed to work in their favor. Eventually they stopped sending him on certain missions with a guide because of it, one would be on comms or waiting for him to return. "Or when they were purposely taken away." Steve shrugged. Guides helped to calm and focus him, gave him something to hang on to in what could otherwise be an overwhelming flood of sensory information but not the way it sounded like Eliot experienced in the beginning. But then, Steve's not sure the world ever has made complete sense to him. The most he's found that is with Danny... He shuts that thought down before it can fully take hold.

"It took you a year?" Steve frowns at that and wondered if his experience was a pattern or just a coincidence. "When I lost mine, that's about how long it took for them to come back. I don't think the military realizes..." He lets that sentence hang at the implication it could mean if they didn't. That's not something Steve wants them to learn if they are currently in the dark. When his abilities had come back he'd been working with Danny for almost that entire time. It had been another few months though before he'd zoned and Danny had found him, changing their relationship from best friends to something Steve didn't have a label for. It was that best friend relationship he was trying to get them back to.

"What kind of things did you find you were able to use as anchors?" Steve had a few things that he knew helped him, but he'd never been encouraged by the military to build his own supports. He had always been pushed to rely as much on a guide as possible. At times, Steve could cope with one sense out of whack until he could get himself to somewhere safe - it was often how he managed on missions, but that hadn't been using an anchor, it was more focusing on his other senses and ignoring the one he couldn't control. Then he nods. "Routine and discipline definitely help me as well. Danny doesn't always get it, why things have to be a certain way or done in a particular order." Steve huffs out a laugh at the thought of some of their discussions on those. It's a bittersweet feeling at the moment.

Then, he focuses on Eliot. "Fifteen years is a long time. I give you a lot of credit, man. I honestly didn't think it could be done." Eliot's story gave Steve some hope that he could accomplish the same if others could.

"Wo Fat and Noshimuri?" Eliot's eyebrows arch a little at the names. "Yeah, he's mixed up with any of their shit an' we shouldn't have any trouble getting something on him." He sends off a quick text to Hardison with all three names before shifting his attention back to Steve.

"Yeah, first few times I zoned there wasn't anyone around." Not who'd notice or care, anyway. They'd all been in the middle of beatings from his old man, and he'd honestly just assumed at the time that the bastard had beaten him unconscious. Either way, he'd been grateful for the reprieve more than anything by the time he managed to scrabble his way back to consciousness. "An' most of the other shit-" Lack of impulse control, hair trigger temper, especially when over-stimulated. "Well, it just got chalked up to bein' a punk ass kid." The kind of people willing to turn a blind eye to old Bill Spencer whaling on his kids weren't going to notice the clues, no matter how clear they were... which is all water under a bridge that's long since collapsed.

"Ten months, seventeen days from when I woke up with everything gone quiet," he clarifies. "An' nearly thirteen months from then 'til I got back some kind of control. Used my kid sister as an anchor for a long time, remindin' myself that I had t'keep my shit together so I could keep sendin' her checks. She's never been willing to take much, but back then she needed every penny of it. An' simple or hokey as it might seem? An old fashioned watch with a reliable movement, a hanky spritzed with the perfume I remember my mom wearin' when I was a kid.

"Those, uh, they stopped workin' so well over time, though," he adds, quieter, looking out the window at a cluster of tourists heading into the lobby. "It's been people for a while now. That an' keepin' to a routine as much as I can." And he's not going to mention how close to the edge he's been riding for a while now. How much harder it's been getting to keep it together, and how he can feel himself slipping. "Nothin' like havin' a Guide t'help, though."

Since it appears Eliot seems to know who he's talking about, Steve adds, "Hiro's dead. Wo Fat killed him not that long ago." They did have Wo Fat in prison but he'd made his escape not long after.

"Did you have any idea what you were? Or was it the military who figured it out for you and connected you to your first guide?" Thinking back, those were truly the worst days of his life. In a matter of a month, his mother died, his father separated him and his sister, sending him to boarding school, and he became this freak like science experiment. All Steve had wanted to do was be left alone and to play football, but instead he was matched with other cadets thought to have guide potential and run through special sentinel training that just made him want to hide away even more. There was no hiding though, and his pleas to his father to let him come home went unanswered.

Steve chewed on his bottom lip as Eliot explained his anchors. It was going to take some thought and serious consideration for him to come up with anchors of his own. Sentimental attachments weren't something he generally had. People were easier to manage if he kept them at arms length. Danny and Grace were the exception there but he was trying to distance himself from Danny and he didn't think it was appropriate for him to use Grace. Looking down at the watch on his wrist, a Kobold Phantom Black Ops Chronograph, that he got while he was in the SEALs is silent running by design. He makes a note to check his father's things in the attic. Maybe he has an old watch Steve could use.

"Having a good match in a guide does go a long way." He agrees, following Eliot's line of sight to the tourists. "Danny doesn't have the training but he makes up for it with instinct. And best of all he doesn't have the ulterior motives the guides we're used to dealing with do. It's been... refreshing not having to worry about those types of consequences." One of the tourists, a young boy screams and tries to pull away from his father. When he can't get away he starts throwing a tantrum, clearly overtired and in need of his bed. Steve winces at the noise and looks back at Eliot, these types of resorts aren't known for their serenity. "You going to be able to stay here? I can find you somewhere else if this is going to be a problem."

"Huh, okay." He's obviously been out of that particular loop if he missed that, but it's not as surprising these days as it would have been at one time.

"Not a fuckin' clue, man." He shrugs and decides to hell with it, he doesn't usually talk about it but the point of reference helps explain things. "Just thought my old man had beat me unconscious when I zoned out, an' the rest of the time... I think it came on gradual enough that there just wasn't any epiphany moment, didn't wake up one day with the world just too loud an' bright an' overwhelming."

He follows Steve's gaze for a moment, registering the way he's checking out the watch Eliot had already assessed as clearly unsuited for that particular technique. He doesn't say anything, though, if only because it's self-evident... and because the only other thing he could do would be to point out Steve doesn't need any of that, not when he has Danny at his beck and call.

Yeah, it's... it was hard t'buy that he didn't have an agenda at first," he admits, and he can't help the way his lips tick up into a fond smile, or how his voice softens, though he does at least look away. "No one's trained him t'think we're just dangerous attack dogs that need t'be kept under control at all costs."

He draws in a measured breath as the screaming cuts through his head, and his eyes slip shut for a moment as he lets the sound wash over him. "I'll manage, I'm used to it." To the stink of strangers and the astringent burn of commercial cleaners, the constant, oppressive noise of people and televisions, arguments and tantrums and sex and confessions. "Got ear plugs an' a white noise generator." Which isn't enough to block it all out, but he wouldn't be able to sleep at all if it did, he'd feel too vulnerable. "It'll get me a couple hours."

Steve makes a fist and his knuckles whiten at Eliot saying he was beaten as a child. That's one thing Steve has a very low tolerance for. It doesn't need to just be children, but women or animals, anyone who's vulnerable really, being attacked by someone who has power and authority over them. There's no benefit to remarking or questioning Eliot on it however so he lets it go. It's long in the past, there's nothing he can do for the other man now.

Instead he huffs out a breath. "I had one of those. The week leading up to it things had seemed brighter and I remember feeling more sensitive to noise and my cloths but nothing really 'sentinel' like either. Then during a game, I'm lining up my receiver, focused on the number on his chest as I'm about to throw the ball and something there caught my attention. Zoned out just before I got tackled." Steve shrugs. "I got lucky I guess, the coach had been taping the game so we could watch it after and you could see me zoning a couple seconds before I got hit. Otherwise they likely wouldn't have realized what happened." That thought makes him shudder. How long could he have laid in some hospital bed with people thinking he had a brain injury when what he really needed was a guide to help him find his way out of his head.

It's hard to hear Eliot's voice go soft and see the smile on his face knowing that they're for Danny, and Steve has to look away. At the same time, it's also reassuring. His decision to step back and out of the way for Danny and Eliot to make a go of whatever that was between them was and continued to be one of the more difficult things he's had to do. Certainly one of the most emotional. Logically he knows it's also the right thing to do. "At the same time it leaves him with a lack of understanding on what to expect as well. Although to be fair, everything I know came from the military or personal experience and just having you sitting here beside me is evidence that's not all correct either."

"If it wasn't for Grace being at the house, I'd take you there instead." A thought crosses his mind and he mulls it over a moment before offering. "It's not the most comfortable, but we have couches back at the office." There's nothing out that Eliot can get into without forcefully breaking into things, they make sure of that when they leave the office at night so there's no worry there. "I have the key to Danny's office, you could sleep there. It'd be private, quiet and you'd have his scent. No one should be in tomorrow."

Eliot doesn't miss the reaction, but he wouldn't have said anything if he'd expected Steve to take it any farther than that, and he's pleased (and unsurprised) to find he was right.

"Hell man, that could'a been ugly." Not just if it had been missed, but what a hard tackle could have done to him when he wasn't capable of defending himself. It's what's always terrified Eliot about zoning, ever since he learned what it actually was. He was lucky as a kid, he guesses, that even without a Guide Gift his little sister could always pull him back out, even if neither of them had ever realized it was more than helping him back to consciousness as she wiped away the blood and cried over him once their old man had passed out or gone back out to the bar. He wishes she hadn't had to do it, but he doesn't want to think what would have happened to him if she hadn't been there.

"Yeah, it's, uh... everything's not quite the way they try to condition you to believe. It's not easy, but-" He shakes his head and looks back at Steve, serious and intent. "It's a helluva lot better'n being in a cage or on a leash, just bein' let out when they wanna set you on something." And that's what it had been for him. He hadn't been an officer, hadn't been educated or had family or friends with any kind of pull. He'd been a piece of meat, a well-conditioned push-button murderer, and he's still trying to shrug that weight off his shoulders even now.

He's starting to look away again, reaching for the door to let himself out and go check into his own little slice of hell for the night, when Steve speaks again and his head swings back around, brows furrowed in as much surprise as he'll show. Other than the sudden trip-hammer beat of his heart that he can't quite get under control for a moment. That's not an offer he ever would have expected, especially after Danny'd told him about how upset Steve had been to learn about them getting together.

He should thank him but turn him down, shouldn't invade their personal space with his presence and his scent, no matter if Steve's offering, but- "You sure?" It's the best he can do, because the idea of it twisting into that spot behind his breastbone where he can feel the pull of an unformed bond, want and need, safety and comfort. "I don't wanna fuck things up for you."

"I've heard of Sentinels in that situation. Seen the aftermath of what they can do." Both in the carnage they leave behind them and creatures they become. Steve shakes his head at the thought. "It's not right. I don't know how we could ever change it, but it's not right." They had told him that some sentinels were no better than animals. That they needed to be harnessed and controlled because they were simply out of control on their own. Steve's experience wasn't quite like that, but then since they couldn't get him to bond with any of their guides, his situation wasn't like any other sentinel's.

He sees Eliot's reaction to his offer, can hear the other man's heartbeat kick up a notch and he can't help but smile. It always amuses him, at least a little bit, when he catches someone by surprise. When Eliot asks for confirmation, Steve starts the Camaro and pulls out of the parking spot. "I'm sure. You can stay there tonight and tomorrow and then you at the house after Grace goes home Sunday afternoon for however long your planning to be here for."

It takes a few moments for him to figure out what to say to the rest. He doesn't really want to explain that things with Danny could never go any further than they were, for so many reasons - him not being able to bond, Grace moving with Danny following, the Navy pulling him back to active duty. He knows one of those things will inevitably be the end but he also doesn't want Eliot rushing the timetable. At the same time he can't let the other man think that he's getting in the way either. He genuinely wants, even needs, things to work between Danny and Eliot. To know that Danny will be okay when he can't be around, that's more important to him than anything else.

Finally he shakes his head and shrugs. "There's nothing to fuck up." He tries to force optimism into his voice but the situation is still too fresh and he's not fully sure he's succeeded. "It's all good."

If Steve has seen that then he can probably understand why the Army was willing to simply let him go when it looked like he'd burned out: better to disclaim any connection than risk being associated with the carnage they'd used him to unleash. And why he'll never find any record of Eliot's service anywhere, his existence had been erased long before the Army felt the need to burn him and hang him out to dry. "They make us like that, then use it as proof we hafta be contained an' controlled." It eats at him, sometimes, the knowledge that they're still doing the same thing to kids as helpless and dependent as he'd been when they'd got their claws in him. But for all the anger and guilt he feels about it, it's not something he's willing to turn his team's attention to. The risks are too great and the likelihood of success almost non-existent.

He goes quiet for a moment, then looks over at Steve again as he starts the car and pulls out again. "Thanks." His voice has gone soft again, though this time with gratitude for a completely unlooked for kindness. The thought of being able to sleep surrounded by Danny's scent is settling in a way nothing else ever is, and even though he has two of the shirts Danny'd left behind balled up in ziplock bags in his luggage this will be infinitely better. Easier. And for all he knows that Steve's lying when he says it's good he can't bring himself to argue or turn him down. He wants it too much.

"You wanna talk through how t'go about this tonight, or get on it in the morning?" he asks instead.

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